Only time will tell
by Alena S. Anigor
Summary: Rin contemplating certain things in her life... Slight /Sesshoumaru x Rin/ Reviews are welcome.


**AN:**

***ahem* Well, this is my first attempt at writing an Inuyasha fic, so bear with me...**

**English is not my native language, so...that explains a lot. I'm not saying my grammar is perfect, but I'm trying.**

**Anyway, I hope you'll like this one-shot story.**

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha doesn't belong to me; the story and characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.**

*****************************

**Only time will tell**

It is beautiful.

Golden rays of sunlight are playing in the air, spreading warmth and light over the sky. The grass is swaying quietly on a summer breeze, making waves of green on the meadow.

It is beautiful.

I look at my face, at my expression, at my features in the water. The lake is clear, crystal water mirroring the summer sky, the blue hue of it, and the sun shining in all its glory.

And it's mirroring my face...

Softly, I touch my skin, drawing fingers across it, observing my face in the water mirror. It's peaceful, and I can see everything perfectly.

And I can't help but wonder; about the years that have passed by, about all the events that I have lived trough, the danger, despair, fear, and...happiness.

I'm looking at the face of an eighteen-year old girl, and somehow, it's hard to believe that this person, this young woman I'm looking at, was once a little, helpless girl, saved and revived by a youkai Lord, for some unknown reason...

But everything changes...and I have changed so much, matured, grew up, and became...this.

A girl with a long, brown hair, pooled around her in an elegant manner. It's reflecting the shiny rays, making it look almost magical and divine. I touch my face again. It's smooth and soft, and...warm.

But what surprises me the most, are my eyes. They have changed the most. They're still...curious, and vivacious, but there is something else in them now. Something different, something...older.

Yes, they're still wide, spotting every detail and every motion, but still...they have matured as well. They are almost serious now, still eyeing everything and everyone with curiosity, but...there's more to them than that.

Slowly, I stand up, and my kimono makes a swooshing sound around me. My hair sinks low to my waist now, but a few strands fall to the front. I look at myself now, at the girl who is standing by the lake now.

I'm not that tall, but that is no surprise; all women I've ever seen were small, some looking like dolls. 

I look at my reflection, at the pale features, and I wonder for a brief moment, if I don't look like one...

A rustling sound interrupts my thoughts, and I turn around. I am used to this: used to paying attention to everything, to every sound, every motion, because I've learned, a long time ago, that the slightest sound, and the slightest motion, no matter how weak or meaningless it looks like, can be lethal, and one single mistake, can be fatal.

But, there is nothing to be worried about; it's only Jaken with his staff. I used to look at it when I was little, and wonder why are there two heads on the staff, wanting to poke them, and see how they'd react. I smile, and Jaken frowns.

Here it goes; he starts complaining, mumbling incoherent words, which I know are all about me. But still, I smile. 

He doesn't like it, which makes me wonder, when was the last time he smiled? I don't remember him smiling, ever. Do frog demons smile, anyway? 

"Are you listening to me?" He asks, and I lower my head to look at him. It's funny-now I'm taller than him, and he is the smallest creature here, even his staff is bigger.

I giggle, and that irritates him...a lot. He turns away, grumbling something again, and I smile again. Trough the years, we've managed to find some sort of mutual understanding, maybe even respect, and-

"Stupid, worthless human!" 

...Maybe not respect after all...

But it doesn't matter what he thinks or says. What matters, is that I'm still here, I'm still part of your life, still part of your world.

I promised myself, that I'd always follow you, always be by your side, never leave my Sesshoumaru-sama.

I turn around, looking for you. Jaken is back, so that means that the hunt is over, but...where are you?

I scan the meadow, across the lake, and the forest entrance, but...there's no sign of you.

Jaken, as if sensing my mental ramblings, tells me that you wanted to stay in the forest for a while, wishing for a little piece and quiet. The last words are emphasized as a warning to me, I know. 

But, you have always been acting different towards me. You'd never yell at me like you were yelling at Jaken, never punish me, or try to hurt me... I've realized that a year, or two ago. I've realized that I was changing, that I was growing up, becoming more mature and serious, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I remember you saying once that everything has to change eventually, no matter how cold, hard or strong it looked like. I didn't know that then, but now I do. You were talking about yourself, and it took me a while until I understood that.

And now I wonder: would you be mad at me if I interrupted you in the forest? Would you yell at me, and punish me?

No, you wouldn't, I know you wouldn't.

There is something about the way you act towards me, something I can't put my finger on it. It was different when I was still a little girl.

I can't help but smile, when I remember that day when you revived me. I was frightened, then confused, and in the end, I was feeling...safe. It always felt safe when I was around you.

I don't know when exactly, have my feelings changed, but they leave me even more confused now. It's different, so different.

You were like a big protector to me at first...like a guardian angel...or a demon, it didn't matter; you protected me, and kept me safe. Then, after a while, you became something of a brotherly figure to me; you were someone I could talk to, and ask whatever I wanted to know, to satisfy my curiosity. You would always listen patiently, trying to explain certain things, but never go too far, never too close. You were the best 'big brother' in the whole world...

And now?

Now I'm confused, and afraid of my own feelings. Something tells me that they're surpassing those brotherly feelings, and right now, I'm positive, but...why am I afraid? It's so hard, so...terrifying maybe? I don't know.

Maybe...maybe I should go and see what you are doing right now, what you are thinking...but even now, something holds me back. 

I think you've noticed it, too. The way I'm trying to avoid you lately. I just can't stay near you, without feeling awkward and...confused, and that whole confusion is making me nervous, and I just...have to get away.

But I would never leave you, never ever!

I hope you'll never leave me, too... I couldn't go on like that. I got used to your presence, your words, your silver, silky hair, and golden, piercing eyes, your whole demeanor and your voice...I even got used to that grumpy old frog...I think I'd even miss him...

Speaking of Jaken, his words interrupt my thoughts again.

"You're back, my Lord!" He exclaims, and I turn around swiftly, to see you walking slowly trough the green grass, steadily, your stoic expression never leaving your face.

You look at me, and I notice something in your eyes, something I can't define. Is that look in your eyes making me nervous, making me run away? 

Yes.

I lower my head, looking once again at my own expression, mirroring in the crystal water, as I hear your voice. Something inside of me starts to turn. Is it my stomach? Feels like I have hundreds of butterflies in there, doing a dance, just like those around me, dancing trough the grass. 

Why do I feel this way? What is it? You never told me what it is; you never explained it to me. 

But, from the things I've heard when I was little; things that I still remember, this feeling is something called...

Love.

I almost gasp, as the sudden realization dawns on me. I draw my hand to my mouth, trying hard to stiffen a surprising sound.

Is that really how I feel? Do I feel love? Do I love you? Do _you_ even _know_ what love is? 

No, you definitely never told me about it. Never.

And I wish to know; the curious child in me still wants to know.

Can you love? Can you love someone, anyone?

Could you love...me?

I see myself blushing, my own thoughts betraying my feelings. I lower my head further, trying to hide it.

But, I think you've seen it already. God, how embarrassing...

Jaken says something I don't really bother to hear, and you say something, too. Your voice is still so hard, cold, almost emotionless. You turn to me once again, your golden eyes burning with that something I can't define. 

And I feel myself being captivated, not being able to look away.

"Rin, we're going", you say, and all I manage to do, is nod, and follow you. I'll always follow you, no matter where you go, or how far you go.

And then, just like a summer breeze, your words echo in my head: _Everything changes._

And I wonder...can you change? Do you want to change?

I've changed so much...Can you?

And I find myself walking behind you. I can feel grass rustling, hear birds chirping around me, Jaken spilling his words full of devotion to his master; I can see sun shining, clouds walking across their own world, and I can feel warmth on my face, making me feel content and happy.

Can you feel all that? Do you even care?

Would you consider changing, Sesshoumaru-sama?

I smile, raising my head to look at you, staring at the sky, an almost content expression on your face.

I know now that everything changes, and so will you. When?

Only time will tell...

**AN:**

***sigh***

**I'm finished. Took me about half an hour to write this, and I hope you liked it. I'd appreciate you sending me your reviews and telling me what you think. **

**Anyway, that's it.**

**Bye now!**

**A.S.A**


End file.
